Sometimes, a single evening of laughter is powerful enough to carry you through an entire day of drudgery. I reconnected with a couple of friends yesterday morning at stolen moments looking at my phone under my desk at work. One of them I met up with later that night at a comedy club. We shared some beers and laughs. She told me an anecdote about book shopping with an older woman who she met at a crafting event. Later her shopping companion revealed herself to be the mother of a celebrity. My friend then also told me about her admiration for lying, which made me put her earlier story into question. I don’t believe that the veracity of the story affects its value as a story though, so the possibility that it was not true does not diminish it in my eyes.

After the show we strolled around the block and had a conversation filled with laughter and enthusiasm. When I went to sleep that night, I felt enveloped in the glow of friendly warmth and connection. This feeling carried over for me into the next day, and I brought it into the office with me.

However, as the hours of the work day crept by, I found my positivity being dampened by the dour and sour energy that surrounded me.

At lunch time I walked over to the grocery store down the street from the office. I picked up a coke and a sandwich. When I got back into the office, I popped the sandwich in the microwave just enough for the cheese to start to melt – my little oasis of small luxury in the middle of a dreary workday. While I stood by the microwave, I made small talk with a new coworker about what flavors of Red Bull were the best. I squeezed lines of yellow mustard from a packet onto the lunch meat as I stole bites of my sandwich in between tasks at my work desk. When the distraction of lunch was over, I played a sneaky game of Wordle while hidden away in the bathroom. Those little green tiles gave me just enough confidence to get through an otherwise empty-feeling day. It reminded me that I could still accomplish something.

This is how I made it through a tedious work day. Off the fumes of good feelings that I gathered elsewhere and in stolen moments where I could turn inward and treat myself or retreat into a private challenge or a game. The tedium and coldness of the environment still affect me though, and when I came home, I felt utterly drained.

On days like that, it’s hard for me to want to get out of bed and participate in the world. Other people can seem so unappealing when you are trapped in a selfish culture. At my workplace, it can feel sometimes as though everyone is simultaneously dull and domineering. It can feel as though they fixate on the politeness of others while also showing no regard for those around them or their own lack of sensitivity. There have been many moments while I’ve been ignored by the managers who want to have a conversation among themselves about slights they feel they’ve experienced. To my office mates, conversation is not a place for connection or sharing ideas, it’s a place to peacock and dominate the emotional energy of a room.

Being enmeshed in this culture Monday through Friday can really sand down the edges of my spirit. But conversely moments like meeting my friend at the comedy club, listening to her stories and the storytellers on stage, remind me that there is a part of this world that doesn’t suck. There are people out there who see conversation instead as a way to tell stories, connect, and share an emotional experience. You just sometimes have to grit your teeth while moving through sludge to get to them, but they are there nonetheless.