This work week was an exhausting one for me due to a lot of drama in the office. The previous week, management had announced a major policy change which was to go into effect at the last minute. This week, the ripple effects of this change came crashing through like an unhinged force of nature. In retaliation, there were call-offs, complaints, and early violations of this new policy. There was one memorable phone call taken outside the office and heard muffled through an open doorway. Even though the words were inaudible due to distance, the tone was unmistakably one of anger. What followed was the slamming of a door and at least one complaint to human resources. On another occasion, I saw one of my coworkers break down in quiet tears.

As you can imagine I was exhausted. Pretty much every day this week I would come home and end up watching TV while scrolling on my phone. After a couple of hours of this mindless passive consumption, I would find my eyes getting tired. I would then fall asleep, my phone somewhere on my pillow next to me. Then I would wake up, often close to ten hours later, and get ready to do it all over again.

Unfortunately, I have had weeks like this in the past in my work life. I’ve had weeks that were draining and difficult to navigate. They were ones where I felt like it was a victory if I was just hanging on. That’s what this week felt like. When I made it to Friday, I was so numbed out and inoculated from the week’s events, that I barely flinched or even blinked. I maintained my composure even when things got rowdy or contentious. As the expletives flew and the tones increased in volume and intensity, I remained empty and hollow.

And when I came home, I just felt angry and drained. I was come angry at having to witness all of the drama. I was upset that I had signed up to do an office job, but had instead ended up in an environment worthy of reality television. Beneath the anger, I was also just sad and depleted. In the moments after the work week was over, I let myself stew in my own sadness for a while. I sat in a dark room listening to sad music and thinking angry thoughts about myself and the world.

But then I got up and took a shower. As I was shampooing my hair, I realized that I didn’t want people I didn’t even respect having the final say on how I felt on a Friday evening. So, in retaliation against the darkness, I sat down to write my own narrative of the situation. I thought maybe if I turned my negative experience into something “productive”, it might make me feel better. And in some ways, putting this negative experience into words does let me feel like I have a little more control over it.

They say that every job should teach you something. And this role has taught me something very important. It’s taught me how to move through spaces filled with difficult, angry people and not lose myself in the process. I used to take the anger around me and collect in inside of myself. With my latest job, I’ve discovered how to let it run through me. And while there may not be a place to put that skill on LinkedIn, it’s still a deeply valuable one.